


Fire Can't Love Ice

by LovetheOmni



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-10
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovetheOmni/pseuds/LovetheOmni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby carried John out of the rubble of Alcatraz and saved his life. He tells John why he saved him but John doesn't feel the same way. Set after X3. Eventual Iceman/Pyro slash FINALLY COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come Back

It was cold.

I blinked into consciousness, my mind foggy and my thoughts incoherent. Then slowly, one by one, the memories pieced together. Everything about the attack on Alcatraz, the X-men… Bobby.

I shivered and coughed. Why was it so cold?

My eyes snapped open. How was I still alive?

I was in my old room, the one I used to share with Bobby. I hadn't been there for a long time, but nothing had changed. All my old stuff was still there.

Even though I knew it wasn't true, a part of me hoped that it had all been a dream. I wished that this was just like every other night back then and I could just glance across the room and see Bobby tangled in his bed sheets as always. I used to watch his chest rise and fall as he was fast asleep.

I had missed that when I was in the Brotherhood.

"Finally awake?" an angelic voice whispered. I tensed and turned to look at the speaker.

Bobby leaned against the doorway, his normally bright face impassive.

"Why am I here?" I asked. Bobby shifted.

"After we won at Alcatraz, Professor Grey went ballistic. Everyone had to run for it before she uplifted the whole island… I couldn't just leave you there…" he explained. "I snuck you on the jet. No one knows you're here but me."

"Why?" I asked.

When we ran into each other at the cure center, I was sure he hated me. Why did he save me?

"Well, I was afraid the other X-men would make me leave you there. You _are_ a traitor, you know," he said matter-of-factly.

"I meant… _why_ did you save me?" Bobby got that distant look in his eyes again.

"That's what best friends do," he stated, as if it were obvious. I blinked.

"You still consider me your best friend?" Bobby hesitated, but nodded slowly.

"It's not the same without you, man." He paused and bit his lip. "Come back!" he blurted out suddenly. I shook my head.

"I can't, Bobby. Like you said: I'm a traitor. The X-men are my enemies, and Magneto-"

"Magneto has been cured," Bobby interrupted furiously, "along with over half of the Brotherhood. You have no where left to go, John!"

We were both silent. Bobby looked embarrassed by his sudden outburst and cleared his throat. He sat down on his own bed across from mine, sighing to calm down.

He looked at me with pleading eyes. "Stay here. I can convince them to let you stay. I'm already going to be in enough trouble as it is by bringing you here."

I moved to the edge of my bed so I was completely facing him and looked coldly into his eyes.

"You should have just left me then," I said angrily, my voice shaking.

"No, John, you don't understand. I couldn't let you _die_." I could hear the desperation in his voice. "I need you."

I didn't _want_ to leave Bobby, he was the only thing I had left, but I still believed that I did the right thing by leaving for the Brotherhood that day. I couldn't stay here after everything I've done.

"I'm a traitor, Bobby. Forget about me. You can just make new friends to replace me. Ones that actually _belong_ here."

"No one could replace you," he muttered.

I looked at him, surprised. I had no idea that he cared about me this much.

"You... you remember that time when we played a prank on Mr. Summers and he got so mad at us I thought his eyebeams would burn right through his glasses?" Bobby asked out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I remember," I said with a chuckle. "He made us scrub the whole mess with toothbrushes."

"And you remember our first fight?" Bobby asked quietly.

"Yeah," I answered. "I don't even remember that girl's name anymore. That fight was so pointless."

"And... you remember that night we got so drunk and just talked about everything?" Bobby sighed happily at the memory.

"...you got me to tell you things I've never told anyone else. I'll never forget," I said, closing my eyes and remembering that night with a small smile.

"I'll never forget either," said Bobby. There was a weird tone to his voice that I didn't understand. I looked up at him.

"Bobby, what are you bringing all this up f-?" Before I knew what was happening, he had leaned over and pressed our lips together.

I hadn't expected _that_ , that's for _damn_ sure.

Hesitantly, he cupped a hand around my face. I didn't kiss back, but I didn't exactly fight him off either.

Bobby pulled away, panting slightly, his face completely red with the thought of what just happened.

"I love you, John," he whispered.

I couldn't even move. I just stared at him.

"You're... gay?" I asked blankly, still processing what had just happened. Bobby fidgeted, awkwardly sitting back where he was before. I had never seen him so nervous.

"Bisexual," he corrected, not looking at me. "It took me a lot of time to figure out, but... yeah." I nodded idly. I could still feel the tingling on my lips where his were just a few seconds ago.

My mind was screaming, but for some reason I wasn't disgusted by him. Maybe...

 _No_. What was I _thinking_?

"You know that I'm straight, right?" I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the words. Straight or not, X-man or not, he was still my best friend.

"I thought I was straight too until you came along," he muttered. It was like he was accusing me of something. I didn't know what to say.

We sat in silence.

"Listen, I'm sorry," he said, cutting into the silence, "but you were a better friend to me than you realize. I gave up on thoughts of us together long ago, John. That's the only reason I'm with Rogue." I interrupted him.

"I always wondered what you saw in her," I said, smirking. He rolled his eyes at me.

"She's a good friend and all, but… as much as I wanted to, I've never really liked her _that_ way. Not like you." I awkwardly moved under his gaze. Sensing my discomfort, he looked away. "Sorry. I know you don't feel the same way. But…if you stay, I promise we can just forget the whole thing."

I don't want to forget.

"Alright," I whispered, pushing my weird thoughts aside, "I'll stay." Bobby smiled weakly.

"We still friends?" he asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't be here if we weren't." Bobby beamed at me, flashing me that huge smile I had always known him for.

"About the whole gay thing," I added, "sorry I don't feel the same way, but even if you start dating other guys, we'll still be friends. Maybe Piotr's interested," I joked. Bobby chuckled.

"I don't think that's a problem. I don't think I could just fall for someone else that easily," Bobby said, trying to mask the sadness in his voice.

I shook my head. Why did that idiot fall for someone like me? I sighed and hoped that he could move on to someone other than me soon.

Bobby wiped any sign of sadness of his face and grinned from ear to ear. "Anyway, I'm so glad you're back."

He's a complete idiot...

But he's a cute idiot.

…

I did _not_ just think that.


	2. Warm Welcome

I threw the covers of the bed off of me. Bobby was gone, so it wasn't cold anymore. Before he left he had apologized for making the room so cold I could see my breath.

That happened when he got emotional.

I sighed as I heard yelling approach my door. I played with one of my old lighters as I waited for them to get nearer. I could tell Logan wasn't too pleased with having me back. No doubt, with the loudness of his voice, the whole school knew I was back by now.

"He betrayed us, Bobby! He tried to _kill_ you! If he wants to return to us because his side lost, then that's just _too damn bad_!" Logan boomed.

"I asked him to come back! He knew you wouldn't welcome him here and he wanted to leave, but I convinced him otherwise. It's not even your decision to make, Logan, so step off." I shook my head and flicked my lighter open again. This was exactly what I was hoping to avoid.

Logan threw the door open, his eyes shining with malice as he spotted me.

"You," he snarled. I looked up from my lighter and shot him a defiant look. Beside him, Bobby looked helpless.

"Long time no see, Logan," I said casually. He growled at me and opened his mouth to shout more profanities.

"Enough," a voice said from behind him. Logan turned, giving me a good view of Professor Xavier rolling in on his wheelchair.

I always felt uncomfortable around Xavier. It felt like he always knew when I've done something wrong. I hate it when people know my secrets.

"This boy is a traitor, Professor!" Logan yelled, pointing accusingly at me. "He's probably just waiting for the chance to betray us again!"

"I'll be the one to determine that," Xavier said calmly. He glanced from me to Bobby. I was glad he didn't read people's minds without their permission. It would've been awkward if he knew what happened between us a half hour ago. "Logan, please leave me alone with these two," he ordered.

"Professor, you're-"

" _Now_ , please," he told him firmly. Logan shot me another glare before slamming the door behind him.

"Professor, John isn't like that. He-" Bobby blurted out as soon as he was gone.

"I know, Bobby," the teacher said coolly. "I see no treachery in either one of you. In fact, I believe that it is best that John stays here." He looked directly at me. "I understand that your beliefs about humans aren't exactly the same as ours. You don't have to join the X-men, but you may stay here." Bobby's face brightened.

"Thank you, sir," he said gratefully. I noticed that I hadn't said anything at all since he came in.

"Thanks," I muttered, shifting under both of their gazes. Xavier smiled his creepy, all-knowing smile before wheeling out of the room, Bobby beaming at me.

Logan was standing outside the door when it opened, trying to listen in.

"Professor?" he demanded. "You didn't let that little runt stay here, did you?"

"I did, Logan, and while he's here you won't give him a hard time, got it?" Xavier warned sternly. Logan didn't answer but nodded slightly anyway. He fixed his cold eyes on Bobby, and I was sure that, if he wasn't already the Iceman, Logan's gaze would have frozen him over.

As soon as Xavier was gone, Logan pulled Bobby out into the hallway. I didn't follow them, but I tried to listen anyway. They were almost out of earshot. I got off of the bed and leaned against the wall, craning my neck to see out the door without being seen.

"You don't get it, do you?" Logan asked Bobby angrily.

"Get what?" Bobby asked, confused.

"Do you have any idea of what this might do to Marie?" he growled.

"What are you talking about? She doesn't care about John."

"Yeah, but cares about the way _you_ act around him," Logan said. "She says he's a bad influence on you. He changes you. When you're around him, it's like you don't care about her anymore." Bobby stared down at his feet.

"She said that?" he asked. He looked so guilty. It must have just occurred to him that, by kissing me, he technically cheated on her. The thought made me smirk. "I'll talk to her about it, alright?" Logan grunted.

"If you say anything to make her sad, I'll slit your throat," he threatened. "And you better fucking keep that Pyro kid in line." Bobby nodded.

* * *

I was regretting my decision already. I never should have listened to Bobby. I should have just tried to make it alone on the streets. I could've handled it. It's not like I haven't before.

It would have been better than this, anyway.

I couldn't walk in the hallway without getting nasty looks from everyone who passed by me. Not that it mattered, I'd just glare right back at them, but it _was_ kind of annoying. I was dreading how bad it was going to get once I started up my classes again. I said that I'd take my old classes just because it was something to do. Now I'm not sure it was a good idea.

To make my mood even worse, this particular night Bobby was out on a date with Rogue. I tried not to think about it and played with my new lighter. I don't know why I cared so much. I never really liked Rogue, but it never used to bother me when they went out.

Try not to think about it. Try not to think about it.

I collapsed on my bed, lying on my back and staring up at the ceiling. I let my mind wander to other things.

So Magneto got cured, huh? That poor bastard should have seen it coming. That's what he got for underestimating the X-men. He should have known that he'd get cured one of these days. I was even surprised that _I_ didn't get cured.

It seemed like getting the cure was the worst thing that could happen to a mutant. Why would anyone _choose_ to take it?

I couldn't believe that Rogue took it. It was like she didn't know Bobby at all. She should have known that Bobby didn't care if he couldn't touch her. Bobby was too nice for his own good.

After she got the cure, that bitch was probably all over him. I cringed. She better not be.

No one touches _my_ Bobby and gets away with it.

…

Damn. I thought about it.

Ever since Bobby kissed me, I couldn't stop thinking weird things about him. Sometimes I'd slip up and find myself staring at him.

What was wrong with me? I was acting like a lovesick girl. But I wasn't in love with Bobby; I wasn't even gay, so how come I couldn't stop thinking about how perfect Bobby is and how his smile just makes me want to…

Just as I was contemplating that, Bobby walked in.

I sighed in relief. He had stayed out so late with Rogue that I had almost been worried that he had spent the night with her. After all, it's not like he had to hold back because of me anymore.

"Hey, John," he said once he saw I was awake, taking off his jacket and throwing his keys on his bedside table. I sat up and snorted at him.

"You sure were out late. Out with your _girlfriend_?" I said a little more accusingly than I intended.

"Yes," Bobby said, smiling slightly. "Why, are you jealous?" I grimaced. How could he say something like that? He said that he was giving up on me. Bobby saw the look on my face and frowned too, realizing that what he said was out of line.

I glanced around awkwardly. I hate uncomfortable silences.

"I broke up with her tonight." He said out of the blue. I stared at him blankly.

"Why?" I asked.

"I thought about it, and I don't feel right leading her on when I like somebody else," he muttered, avoiding my gaze. "I always thought that maybe someday I could learn to love her but... I've realized that will never happen."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"I'm sorry, John. I know I said that I would try to get over you. I will, but…" he smiled sadly, "I can't just forget about how I feel about you that easily."

Come on, say something. _Say_ something.

"Then don't. I don't want you to." It was rushed and I realized what I said too late.

There was silence.

Bobby gaped at me, his eyes wide, his face bright in hope and _desire_. The intensity of the feelings I felt stunned me. It scared me.

But I couldn't look away.

I sat helplessly under his gaze, and he must've seen the confusion in my eyes. It wasn't too long before he was confused as well.

"John-" he pleaded.

I bolted out the door before he could finish.


	3. I Think I Kind Of Like You Too

I really don't think I can handle this.

I gulped, feeling Bobby's gaze on me from the corner of the room, and fumbled even more with my lighter. I don't know why this was making me so nervous.

"John, that lighter is distractin'," Rogue hissed, whipping around in her seat to glare at him. "Knock it off." I glared back at her and wordlessly kept on fiddling with my lighter, knowing it ticked her off.

It was my first official day back in my classes, and I was already back to causing trouble. But as entertaining as annoying the hell out of Rogue was, it still wasn't helping.

I still couldn't stop thinking about Bobby.

Why couldn't I just let it go? Bobby had been talking about forgetting me. Why had I opened my big mouth and told him I didn't want him to? I closed my Zippo for good finally, realizing the reality of that question.

I… I _don't_ like him do I?

What am I thinking? I'm not gay. I don't like guys. But Bobby-

"John, class is over," Storm said. "You can stop spacing out now." I snapped out of my daze. There were only a few people left in the classroom, and Bobby just happened to be one of them.

He had been trying to get me alone ever since I ran out of the room that night, and I had managed to avoid him until now. I knew he was going to try and corner me. My mind raced to find the best escape route, but I was too slow. Bobby walked up to me nervously.

"John, listen, we need to-" He was cut off.

"Bobby? I hope I'm not interruptin' anythin' important," Rogue said in her southern accent. I had never been grateful for Rogue barging in before, but I was now. I took my chance to slip out of sight.

I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. I knew he was going to ask how I really felt about him.

And I honestly didn't have an answer.

* * *

Classes were over for the day so I went back to our room and got more lighter fluid for my Zippo. I was going to need it, that's for sure.

I didn't know how much time I had to work with before Bobby finished talking to Rogue so I just grabbed it and left. I set out to walking around the halls like I always do when I need to think.

What was Rogue talking to him about, anyway? Shouldn't she be mad at him for breaking up with her or something?

I never liked Rogue, and just the thought of her talking to him always bugged me. Bobby was my best friend, but she always got more of him than I ever would.

'Are you jealous?'

Bobby's question from the other night popped into my head without warning, and I could feel myself blush. No, I wasn't jealous.

But the more I thought about it the more I knew I was lying to myself.

I glanced at Piotr, watching TV in the recreation room with the other kids then over to Jean-Paul talking to Jubilee.

I didn't feel anything for anyone around here except Bobby it seems: straight guys, gay guys, or even hot girls like Jubilee. Then again, Bobby said he didn't either. And I finally started to let it sink in.

I liked Bobby.

* * *

I reluctantly returned to our room where Bobby was, predictably, doing his homework. I smiled slightly. Some things never change.

As soon as I walked in the door, however, he dropped his pencil and plopped down on his bed to talk to me.

"You know why Rogue wanted to talk to me today?" he asked, as if everything was normal between us and I wasn't trying to avoid him.

"What?" I asked, putting away the bottle of lighter fluid and sitting down too.

"She practically begged me to take her back. She told me she really liked me and she would fix whatever she was doing wrong if I went out with her again. She was convinced that I was lying when I told her there was someone else." I rolled my eyes. Typical Rogue. "Honestly, I can't believe that I stayed with her for so long."

I stayed silent. If I wanted to say something now would be the time to do it, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

"John, I know you've been avoiding me, but I have to know: what did you mean… when you said you didn't want me to forget you?" Bobby asked. I sighed.

"I don't know. It just sort of… came out." Speaking of coming out… it's now or never, John.

"Oh... okay then…" Bobby didn't know what to say either. Uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"I…" I managed, before losing my voice again.

"Yeah?" Bobby coaxed.

"I-I think… IthinkIkindalikeyoutoobutI'mnotgay." A small smile started to grow on Bobby's face.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I-I don't know. I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm not gay, but I think that I might… really like you… too." I can't believe how much of a blathering idiot I was. "I'm probably... bisexual too. Ugh! Fuck, I don't know," I finished lamely. I couldn't even get out a decent full sentence. Apparently, though, it was enough to please Bobby.

"Wow," he breathed. "That was just how I imagined it." I was taken aback.

"What do you mean?" I asked, cautiously.

"You look so nervous and pissed off at the same time," he murmured. "You're going to end up breaking that Zippo one day." I shoved the Zippo away, not even realizing that I had been fidgeting with it. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I settled for glaring at my Zippo instead.

"You… you really mean it, don't you?" he asked. I looked up and nodded slowly.

"I think," I stated. "I mean, I'm not sure." He got off his bed and sat next to me on mine, gazing directly into my eyes.

"John," he muttered. I just stared at him and didn't respond, wondering what he was doing. "Can I kiss you?" I didn't allow myself to think because I knew if I did I would tell him no. So, without any thoughts, I nodded slightly and fell headfirst into the feeling of his lips on mine once again.


	4. Getting Used To It

I gulped as I felt Bobby slip his arm around my shoulders. We were watching TV together in the rec. room. It was late at night, and no one was around at this hour, but I was still nervous for other reasons.

"Too fast?" Bobby asked, guiltily removing his hand.

"No, this is just the scariest part of the movie," I lied. Bobby didn't buy it.

"I know you better than that. You don't get scared by scary movies that easily," he said with a laugh. "It's okay, John. You can tell me to keep my hands to myself. I won't be offended," he said, smiling softly. He looked like he was internally debating whether to say something else. "I…I'm just glad I finally have you." I smiled back at him slightly.

"I'm glad too." And I was. It was just… weird at first. Bobby was just so different from the girls I'd dated before. I leaned in and kissed him lightly. I was pleased to see that I'd surprised him. I grabbed his arm and put it back where it had been around my shoulder before going back to watching the movie in his arms.

* * *

For the next few weeks we made it through the days just like that: unsure of what to do, awkward. Somehow we still managed to do everything right. The days I had spent with the Brotherhood seemed like a distant memory.

I was getting along with Bobby better than ever, but no one else at the mansion had forgiven me yet. It was irritating. I didn't see what the big deal was. It was like I was the bad guy. Did they ever take into consideration that I'd once thought of them as the bad guys?

Rogue was the worst of them all; so imagine my surprise when she shows up at my door.

"Bobby's not here right now," I grunted, shutting the door in her face. She caught it just before I managed to close it all the way.

"Yes, I know, John," she said. "I'm not here to talk to him. I want to talk to you." I didn't care _what_ she wanted to talk about. I did not want to talk to _her_.

"No. Go away," I said, trying to push it closed.

"It's about Bobby. I'm worried about him." That stopped me. Was something wrong with Bobby?

"What about him?" I asked. Rogue took this as an invitation inside and pushed her way past me. I frowned and seized my lighter in an attempt to keep my patience.

"Have you noticed a change in him lately?" she asked. I could tell already that this conversation would involve lots of lying.

"No," I said, hoping she'd go away. No such luck.

"Well, I have. I think… there might _actually_ be someone else." I stared at her in disbelief.

"Of course there is, Rogue. He _told_ you there was." She sighed.

"Yeah, but I didn't think he actually meant it. I thought he was just trying to push me away. But lately he seems… distracted…like he's got someone on his mind." I flinched, willing my face not to turn bright red.

"So?" I asked, pretending to be uninterested. "What's your point?"

"John, I don't think he's _just_ got a crush on someone. I think… he's got a secret girlfriend," she said slowly as if to emphasize the horror.

…

There was no way I was going to make it through this conversation without having a heart attack.

Rogue must not have noticed because she continued on.

"Has he said anything about it to you? You're his best friend. He would tell you if he was going out with someone behind my back, right?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, he hasn't said anything." Rogue frowned.

"Nothing at all? You two must not be as close as I thought. I was sure he would tell you." I sat down my lighter quickly, knowing that having a weapon in my hands at this moment would be a very bad idea.

"Or maybe you're making up stupid stories just to feel better about yourself," I mumbled.

"Excuse me?!" Rogue exclaimed, obviously offended. I felt a sudden wave of over-protectiveness wash over me.

"Bobby dumped you weeks ago, Rogue. You think you could just get over it? So what if he's moving on? That's a good thing. You should be happy for him if he's found someone else. I just hope they're not as selfish as you!"

"Selfish?" Rogue wasn't even arguing back. I could tell I'd astonished her.

"Yeah, selfish. You think everything is about you. You come in here and expect me to tell you all about Bobby's love life like we're best friends or something, but in reality you've done nothing but treat me like shit since I've got back. Why would I help you?" Rogue glared daggers at me. "Just do yourself a favor and move on. Forget about Bobby. He's forgotten about you." Rogue's eyes started to water.

"I'll never know why Bobby wanted you to come back," she hissed before rushing out of the room and slamming the door.

"Let's hope not," I murmured.

* * *

I scowled at Bobby.

"It's not funny," I muttered. It was taking him enormous effort not to laugh, I could tell.

"She thinks I've got a girlfriend?" he asked after he managed to get his laughing down to just occasional snickers. I nodded.

"She said you seemed distracted." This just made him laugh even harder.

"I am so sorry you had to go through that," he chortled, pulling me closer.

"I can tell," I grumbled sarcastically. I didn't understand why he was so amused about this.

"Aw, I really _am_ sorry. It's just… I _know_ you. She probably ran out slamming the door." I let myself blush this time since no one was around but Bobby and I.

"I only yelled at her a little," I defended, 'forgetting' to mention that he was right about her slamming the door.

"Well, in that case, you handled it rather well." Bobby leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. I stiffened and he looked ashamed.

"Sorry," he muttered. I shook my head.

"No, it's not your fault. I'm just getting used to this." That was our fourth kiss (but who's keeping track, really?) and I still can't help but feel uneasy.

This is so messed up! I like Bobby, I've already established that. I like being more important to him than Rogue for once.

But he's a guy! How can I just sit back and pretend that this is normal?

I looked back at Bobby who was staring down at the ground shyly, thinking that he did something wrong. I couldn't let him think that.

"Here. Try again," I whispered. He hesitated and I nodded, urging him on. He slowly leaned in once again.

I kissed back, this time taking the lead and sliding my tongue into his mouth.

In that moment it didn't matter if I was gay or not. Bobby was mine and right then it was just us.

But later that night the buzz wore off eventually, as it always does, and doubt came upon me again. I don't know why, but I couldn't shake the feeling that one of these days something bad was going to happen.


	5. Bad News

Two months had passed since Bobby and I had started dating. Nevertheless, as much as I wanted to, I still hadn't gotten used to us being together.

I fell more and more in love with him, but there was still something holding me back. We had, only months ago, been bitter enemies, after all.

I wasn't some lovesick girl, falling headfirst into a blind romance. I was St. John Allerdyce, and this was Bobby fucking Drake. Just because we loved each other, that didn't make the situation any less crazy.

Bobby had tried several times to get me to open up and touch him more, but I just couldn't do it. It was too awkward.

Until one random night we were fooling around.

"Can I?" Bobby asked as we kissed, indicating that he wanted to take my shirt off. I nodded.

"Just... down to our boxers this time," I said slowly. Bobby nodded understandingly.

We both took our time removing each other's clothes. Our lips barely parted as we lazily tossed each removed article of clothing onto the floor.

I panted into Bobby's mouth and moaned as he grinded his hips down into mine. He had me making noises I didn't even know I could. I mean, sure, I'd gotten some before, but never with another guy. I had always been the one in control in the past.

But then I did something I never thought I could do.

I finally gave in.

I let him kiss me. I let him touch me. I stopped thinking. My head cleared of all the nervous feelings and uncomfortable worries about being gay.

And the weird thing is: I loved it.

Even though I was the one who told him to take it slow and just stay in our boxers, it was getting more and more difficult to care about my previous inhibitions.

Bobby rubbed his hand against my erection, and he played with the waistband of my boxers, but he kept his word and didn't go any further than that.

"Off," I grunted. He pulled back and stared at me in disbelief.

"But you said-" I groaned and ground against him.

"I don't care," I panted. "I want you." I grinned playfully. "I want to try touching you too."

He smiled at me when he realized that I was serious. "Alright, but if you change your mind I'll stop. I promise." I nodded. I knew I could trust him.

He leaned down and kissed me slowly. His hand slid lower and lower. His thumb hooked into my waistband and...

"Oh my God!"

Our lips shot apart, and the person we least wanted to find us stood in the doorway.

Bobby scrambled off me.

Shit. Did we forget to lock our door?

" _You_ ," Rogue grumbled accusingly. "I can't believe it. _You_ stole my boyfriend?!"

"What the _fuck_ , Rogue? Ever hear of knocking?" I shouted.

"I can't believe I went to you for help and asked you if Bobby's cheating on me when it was really _you_ this whole time!" I rolled my eyes.

"You're not dating him anymore. He's not cheating on you," I said monotonously. It was like talking to a brick wall.

"Rogue, please, I-"

"Bobby, he's brainwashed you or something. You're _not_ gay. I know you're not." Bobby sighed.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," he said. "I broke up with you. I don't love you. I _love_ John. Please just leave us alone. I wish you all the luck in the world finding someone else."

Rogue glared at me. "This is all your fault," she muttered.

She raised her hand to slap me. I expected just a quick sting on the cheek, but that didn't happen.

I shuddered. I had felt this weird sensation before.

The life was being sucked out of me straight through her fingers.

* * *

When I blinked back into consciousness, I was in the infirmary and Bobby was gripping my hand.

"Hey," whispered Bobby. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," I grunted with a bitter laugh. "My head is _pounding_. How'd… things go after I passed out last night?"

"Actually, that was three days ago," Bobby said.

I looked at Bobby expectantly. I needed a lot more information than that.

"Alright," he sighed. "I... I got so mad at her. I thought you were gonna die," he whispered. "I tried to throw her off of you, but she refused to let go. She held on to you as long as she could. I ended up freezing her whole body and ripping her off you."

I stared at him wide-eyed. I never expected that. "Is she alright?" I asked.

"She's recovering in the other room," he explained. "She woke up before you, and I had a long talk with her. I don't think she'll bother us again."

I couldn't hold back my laughter. "Well I'm glad all that's over." Bobby rolled his eyes.

I paused, before asking the question that both of us were nervous to hear out loud: "…how did she have her powers back?"

Bobby was silent. I could tell he knew, but he didn't want to answer me. There was something he was hiding.

"Bobby?" I demanded. "Tell me."

"It's… all over the news," he muttered. "The 'cure' for mutants… it's beginning to wear off for some people. It's not permanent."

* * *

Everyone in the whole school knew about what happened by the time I was let out of the infirmary. The hallways were abuzz with gossip.

Some people laughed and told rumors about the fags who'd been caught fucking on campus. Others sighed and shook their heads, unable to believe that Bobby would cheat on poor Rogue.

However, it seemed that, no matter how juicy the rumors about us were, the news about the cure was even greater.

It wasn't just Rogue. Within a week, several others who had taken the cure regained their powers. The media was in a panic. Every channel on TV was reporting stories on the cure and speculating about what that meant for the future of American politics.

There were already rumors that Magneto had gotten his powers back and he was recruiting for the Brotherhood once again.

I was aware of Bobby's eyes watching me every time the subject came up. He never said a word, but I could see the worry on his face. He was so afraid that I was going to leave him to join the Brotherhood once more.

I kissed Bobby on the way back to our dorm, unconcerned about who saw us in the hallway now that everyone in the school knew about us. I felt his lips tremble and his hands shaking in my own.

This couldn't go on any longer.

"Bobby, we need to talk," I sighed as I unlocked the door to our room and walked in. He flinched.

"About what?" he asked in a small voice.

"You and your overwhelmingly obvious fear that I'm going to leave you to join the Brotherhood again," I said simply. Bobby's eyes widened at my bluntness.

"W-well…" He sighed too. "Are you…? Going to leave me, I mean." I was silent.

My silence said enough.

"Listen, John. I know you want to make the world a better place for mutants. I understand wanting to change the world. I don't… agree with your methods, but… I understand." He looked desperate. We both looked into each other's eyes silently. "But I love you," he said. "I don't want you to go."

"Bobby…" I said slowly. "I… I love you too; but… I can't… I can't just give up on my dreams because of you. You say you understand, but you don't know what it's like to be hated. You have family and friends. All I have is you." I stared down at the ground, my jaw tense. I tried to hold back tears. All of my feelings for Bobby hit me like a wave. I realized just how much he meant to me.

But that didn't matter now.

"We both knew from the beginning that this wouldn't really work," I mumbled, looking anywhere but at him. "We're too different. We just don't fit together… Fire can't love ice, Bobby." I was lying through my teeth. My voice was shaking, but I don't think he noticed.

"Fuck that!" shouted Bobby, who hardly ever swears. "We fit together perfectly fine in the last couple of months. This time with you has been the happiest of my life. Why is it so different now? The Brotherhood can go on without you. The X-men can go on without me. Let's just… graduate from our fucking classes, get out of here, get jobs, and grow old together. Because, honestly, when I look at my life and what I really want, that's it. To be with you."

My heart was beating erratically in my chest and I was trembling just like him; but I don't think he noticed.

"Fine. I won't go," I said. He looked at me disbelievingly.

"Really?" he asked in a small voice. "You'll stay with me?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I love you." I leaned in and kissed him. All of the doubts and discomfort that I had before were gone. I was his.

And that night, as we kissed and sucked and caressed each other, I became his _completely_.

* * *

The next morning when Bobby woke up, he was alone.

I wasn't there to see his face when he realized I was gone, but I often imagine it. I imagine him sleepy and confused, still naked and covered in the many hickeys I gave him to mark him as mine while I am gone.

But then his eyes finally rest on the note that I left him and reads it in a hurry. He doesn't believe it at first, he cries.

In the note, I told him the truth: I would always love him, and when what I need to do is finally over, I hope it won't be too late for us to be together again.

What I said to him earlier wasn't true: fire _can_ love ice. As I left the love of my life to become his enemy once again, I swore that one day I would come back.


End file.
